Passion

People can go their entire lives without finding their passion.  I can remember in kindergarten being adamant I was not going to be a teacher.  Then I went to Emporia State - a college known for it's teaching program. I changed majors many times in my short time there, and always ignored that voice in my head telling me to become a teacher.  Then I spent 13 years in the corporate world, and when I got burnt out there and was unemployed for 6 months, I avoided the many signs to think about teaching.  Even the huge billboard near my place I saw every day advertising the nontraditional program for obtaining a teaching license.

Never in my wildest dreams, did I think it would take moving across the world to find it!  I came to Thailand to experience life living abroad, pushing myself outside my comfort zone, and all sorts of inspirational bullshit that are quoted and hashtagged all over Instagram (#guilty).  But I've found that I don't love living abroad.  I don't love Thailand.  I don't love being away from family, friends, and queso.  But I love teaching.

And it's because of these kids, right here.  These are my M2 students.  And they are such a special bunch.  Overall, all three classes I had this semester were good.  But these kids were nothing like the other two.  Sure, we had a few rough days here and there.  But I never dreaded going to teach them.  I never had to cut a fun activity short because of complaining, eye rolling, or that one kid rolling around on the ground like a rolly polly.  I never had to feel like I was having a conversation with myself at the front of the class due to lack of participation.  This class has the best sense of humor too.  They get sarcasm and love to laugh and make jokes.  They love American pop culture.  Some of them know more American rap songs than Thai songs I'm sure!

It's because of these kids that I decided to finally stop ignoring everything pointing me in the direction of becoming a teacher.  I finally looked into the website from the billboard I ignored every day, and am in the process of getting my teaching certification for Texas.  My original plan was to be over here at least a year, but the cool thing about life is that plans don't always work out.  I'm lucky that my parents miss me enough to let me move back into their basement until I am able to start doing the student teaching part of the process. It wasn't an easy decision to make - in fact, it was easier to decide to come to Thailand, than it's been to leave.  But I know that it's the best decision for me right now.  I'm leaving a huge part of my heart with these kids.  But because of them, I can say I'm one of the lucky ones that has found my passion.

Workin' on a Sunday

Last Sunday I worked my first English camp.  During my orientation with my agency, we had a quick overview of what English camp is.  And it was all this ridiculously silly songs, games, and just overall craziness.  Our contracts state we have to work one a semester, which happen on the weekend.  The semester is over at the end of September, and the closer it was getting to that, the more I was hoping it wouldn't happen. Then we got word it was happening at our school on Sunday, August 28th.  I was not looking for to it for a few reasons.  1. It wasn't with the students I teach every day.  It was only for non EP students. 2. It was on a Sunday.   The week before I spent all weekend at a conference, so that was 2 weekends spent doing school stuff. 3. What middle school aged kid wants to spend their Sunday at school, playing crazy games and singing songs in a language they don't speak.

The answers is nearly 200 students! I was shocked when I walked up at 8 am and saw how many kids were already there!  There were six of us from my school, plus two more from another school there.  When our agency finally showed up (because Thai time...), we were given bright yellow shirts to wear and were given a brief overview of what was going to go on during the camp.  Basically, the morning was playing games like 1 baht, 2 baht (girls are 1 baht and boys are 2 baht.  A number is called out and you have to get the right amount of people in your group to equal the number called out), and other games where you group together.  The teachers were there to get the kids excited.  The last game we played ended up getting the kids in groups of 7, and from there they were numbered and split into groups with the teachers as the leaders.

Once we were in our groups, we had to come up with a team name, a team chant, and a team flag. This is where I really started missing my EP kids!  I did not realize how used I'd gotten to my students understanding 90% of what I say, and not having to speak at a super slow pace!  They all just stared at me when I was throwing out name suggestions (I was trying to come up with any and all pop bands they like).  Finally i just told them we were going to be Team SKR (our school's nickname) and some shook their head.  Then I tried to get them to make the team flag.  More stares.  So I just wrote SKR in big letters on the poster board and one girl caught on that I needed them to decorate it.  They all got into that!  I just did a simple clapping of my hands and we chanted SKR for a few times for the chant.

From there we went to each group and told them things about ourselves, ask questions about what we told them, and when they answered in English they were given a sticker.  The person with the most stickers at the end got a huge stuffed teddy bear.  And let me tell you, their English all the sudden was on point.  Bribery with a stuffed teddy bear, who knew!  After that was the "Peel Banana" song.  It started out with the teachers doing all the actions in front of the group.  Peeling the banana, chopping the banana, shaking the banana, eating the banana.  Pure ridiculousness!  But the kids were more than enjoying it, and we were all looking just as stupid up there together!


We each had to pick 1 boy and 1 girl from our group that were doing the best and they got to go up on stage and do the dance.  This is where things got um well, I'm sure nothing like this would ever go on at school in America...  Then it was lunch time.

After lunch we were each given a station to work for games.  I was at the station where each team was given big letters and I'd say words (or in some instances show the word to them) and they'd have to spell it out.  Things got competitive!!!  And I was sure I was going to have no voice from shouting the words over and over again.  After the winners were announced and the girl with over 50 stickers got her huge stuffed bear it was time for the powder game...

The highly popular stuffed bear

The kids were all given handfuls of baby powder and told to go after each other and the teachers.  I've been told a time or two my body language speaks loudly.  I was not even remotely looking forward to being ambushed with baby powder.  And I guess my body language said that!  I had a few of the students walk up to me and very sweetly put small pats of powder on my cheeks.  Compared to some of the other teachers who I can only imagine are still finding baby powder in crevasses!

And by the end I was exhausted, hot and sweaty, and ready to just lay down.  But it ended up being such a fun day.  It's also been fun seeing the other students on campus that normally would just politely say Hi.  Today I heard shouts of Hi Teacher BA! from across the other side of the yard when I was walking to my class!  It ended up being a fun experience and a fun way for the students to use English!

Miss Recycle Pageant

When I got to my first class after lunch on Tuesday, most of the girls were in the back of the room working on a project.  It looked to me like they were making a dress out of trash bags and wads of paper.  They weren't able to communicate to me what exactly they were doing, so we started class.  I had that same class again in the afternoon, for a much less structured class. I asked the Thai teacher in the office what that was all about and he said they were making their dress for the Miss Recycle Pageant happening the next day.  I let them go ahead and work on it in the next class I had with them. But I still wasn't sure what this Miss Recycle Pageant was.  All I knew was that each class makes a dress out of recyclables, and one person from their class wears it in the pageant. 

I only have one class on Wednesday afternoons, so it was cancelled for the pageant.  A few of us foreign teachers went over to where all the contestants were gathered for judging.  And I was blown away.  There were some very impressive outfits.  And it was also the time for the ladyboys to shine.  The contestants were not only impressively dressed, but their make up was on fleek (I did just go there, but seriously that's the only word that can do the makeup skills justice).  After judging, they walked across campus to the hall.  And again I was more than impressed with the fact they were killing it walking in the heels.  Heels that can really only be described as stripper heels! I wouldn't have been able to stand up without falling off them.  

Once in the hall, each grade level was announced and the representative from each class walked down a "runway" and walked up on the stage.  They were hamming it up too!  And it was awesome to see their fellow students cheering them on.  Once each grade level was presented all of them came back in and went up on stage.  Music started playing and there was some random dancing going on.  Then a few were called out to ask questions (questions and answers were in Thai, so I'm not sure if they were hoping for world peace or not...).  Then the winners were announced.  I'll leave you with these photos!  This was one of the bizarre experiences I've had at school!!

My M1 student - Kaimook

Chompoo - my M2 student flashing me the I Love You sign.  

Karwjaw - my M3 student.  She is always so quiet in class, but she was rocking it on stage.

I'm not sure how this boy got picked. He looked miserable until the music stared, then he was busting some moves!

This one was my favorite, but wasn't a winner

Right after I took this pic, this contestant went down! But handled it with grace and got up and kept on strutting. 

Loved that she rocked her Chucks, pigtails, and a newspaper dress

 

She was a tuk tuk

The doctor is in

For about a week, I've felt like I was getting sick.  Sometimes it seemed like it was allergies.  Other times I'd wake up in the middle of the night knowing I had a full on cold.  But I never got full on stay in bed all day sick.  However, on Tuesday night, my ear started hurting.  I am not one to get earaches.  But by Wednesday morning, it was a full on earache and sore throat.  I was grateful I had my two best classes and they could tell I wasn't feeling well and were actually very well behaved.  In one of my classes, I had to read a rather lengthly passage and two of the students volunteered to read it for me.  I asked Mama Tick if she could write down some earache/sore throat medicine for me to show the pharmacist.  She recommended I go to a clinic and see an ear, nose, and throat doctor.  She couldn't tell me exactly where the office was, but gave me a general area and wrote the name down on a piece of paper in Thai so I could show it to people and get directed that way.  She told me he didn't open until 6:00 pm. 

Around 5:30 I left my apartment and started walking towards the area she told me it was in.  When I got near, I went into a pharmacy and showed him the slip of paper.  He said he wasn't exactly sure where it was, but it was on the street I was on.  I just needed to cross the intersection and I'd be heading the right way.  I came up on what looked like a clinic.  But I saw the words Bausch & Lamb on the wall and figured it was an eye doctor.  Next door was another space with what looked like a waiting room, but there wasn't a receptionist.  I walked down to another pharmacy type place and showed him the slip of paper.  He pointed down and said girl. Since there was no one at the front desk, I just signed in on the piece of paper others had signed in on! There were no other forms I needed to fill out or anything. I sat down in the waiting area and took a picture of the writing on the wall behind the check in desk; send it to the Thai teacher. He verified I was at the right place. Then I just sat and waited and watched some weird Thai TV! 

The receptionist came out and sat at the desk for a bit. Finally, the doctor came in around 6:30, and she started calling back patients. I was #10 on the list. Each patient was taking about 2 mins to see him. She just pointed at me when it was my turn, and asked if I speak Thai I told her no and she stuck her head into the area where the doctor was located and said something to him. I walked back behind the wall and the doctor spoke decent English. I told him earache and sore throat. He looked in both my ears, pushed around and asked if that hurt - which it did. He looked at my throat, pushed on my ear once more, and said infection in ear canal. I went back out to the front desk. The lady brought out some medicine, and tried to tell me what to take and when in Thai…I finally heard her say “mai” which is no. I said it back to let her know I had no idea what she was saying! She had me go back around the corner to the doctor, and he explained he gave me eardrops, antibiotic and another pill I wasn’t sure was for. All for 250 baht (which is $7.15) 

It was about 7:00 at this point, and I was getting hungry. My Pad Thai lady and the yellow place (where I get my fried rice chicken) have both been closed the last two days. They need to coordinate their schedules better to not both be closed at the same time! I had to go to the rude Pad Thai place. (She doesn’t put the Pad Thai on a cool bamboo leaf and she doesn’t know that I don’t like the chili flakes). The way back is by the temple with the mean pack of dogs. One day I walked by and one bit at me. Luckily I had pants on that were baggier in the leg and he got just pants and not my skin. It scared me (I am pretty frightened of dogs in general). I've tried to avoid that way but it is the fastest way home. I turned the corner and could see the pack of dogs out and one was chasing a scooter. It saw me and started growl barking and running my way. I just turned around and started back towards the restaurant, not running but walking fast and just hoping he'd stop following me. And when he got right to the corner he stopped and just stood there with a furious bark. I was relieved. But also thinking I'm going to have to take the long long way home now. I went ahead and took a soi (alley) shortcut, hoping the entire time I didn't encounter another pack of dogs in the dark alley. Thankfully I made it home safely! Now let's hope this medicine does the trick!

A day with the elephants

This past weekend, I met my friend Anna in Chiang Mai.  It's a 13 hour overnight bus trip there.  Chiang Mai is an awesome area to visit.  But the highlight of the trip was spending the day at Elephant Jungle Sanctuary.  I'm not a huge animal lover (and as a friend recently pointed out I was seriously trying to figure out how to spend the day at the spa rather than going on the safari in Africa...), but it makes me sick to see how terribly animals are treated for the sake of tourist getting to ride them or take a picture with them.  There are many, many unethical elephant and tiger camps all over Thailand.  The animals are held in cages, drugged, and beaten all for the sake of money.  I have not and will not pay money to any of those camps. There are a few different ethical elephant sanctuaries in the Chiang Mai area.  When we started planning this trip, Anna and I both mentioned we wanted to visit one.  She had family friends that had just visited Elephant Jungle Sanctuary.  We were glad to see a spot for the day that worked best for us!

A songtaew driver picked us up at our hotel at 8:00 am on Friday morning.  We picked up two more groups of people and headed about 2 hours away into the jungle.  In a songtaew there are benches on the side of the bed of a pick up truck, so you are not facing forward.  That mixed with the curves and the hills to get to the jungle were not good for motion sickness.  I was very thankful that we had opted for a rather low key night the night before, because I'm sure it would have been so much worse if I was also hungover!  

Once we finally arrived at sanctuary, we were greeted by a family of 5 elephants.  There were about 40 people in total and we were split into two groups.  We were given ponchos to wear that are native to the Karen tribe that lives in the area.  We started off just hanging out with those five elephants.  All the elephants were females.  There was a small 5 month old baby that was so cute.  And a couple of teenaged year old ones and a 72 year old elephant.  They were just walking around and we had bananas and sugar canes to feed them.  They knew exactly where we were keeping the sugar canes in our pockets of the ponchos too!  They'd come up and their trunks would go right for the pocket!  It was funny how some of them were picky about their sugar cane.  They would curl them up in their trucks and if it wasn't the exact piece they wanted, they'd let it drop to the ground.  

After spending about 20 minutes doing that, we walked down a steep path to another group of elephants that were by the river.  We had to walk over a long, bamboo bridge to get to the other side of the river.  When we got to the other side, it took me a few seconds to get my bearings and not feel like my legs were going to give out!  We were able to spend 20 minutes or so with this group of elephants and feed them too.

This picture only makes it seem like I'm walking confidently across this bridge!

After that, we went down a path to the spot to eat lunch.  It was in a beautiful location.  We were up above the river and you could hear the water going over the dam.  A little bit farther down was an awesome waterfall.  After eating a traditional Thai lunch, I walked down to get some pictures of the waterfall.  I got lucky and got a shot right as a girl was jumping into it.  As I was walking back, I noticed that there were about 4 men working underneath the structure we'd just been eating lunch at.  As in they were putting brick and mortar around the support legs.  I was glad I saw that AFTER I was done eating!

Once we finished lunch, we were told to change into our bathing suits.  We got to go back down to the water and bath and scrub the elephants.  That's right.  I got into the water with 5 elephants!  It was so much fun to get to see them just laying in the water, all of us splashing water on them, and using brushes to scrub them.  There were a few times that I saw something rather large float by, but I tried to ignore the fact it was elephant dung, and kept telling myself my feet was sinking into sand/mud and definitely wasn't elephant dung that had sunk to the bottom.

Next up was the mud spa.  They led the elephants out of the river, over in to two large mud pits.  And this is the part of the trip that #PrincessBA emerged.  When I first got to Thailand the advice of "say yes to everything" was given.  And I think I've done a fairly good job of taking that advice to heart.  However, I could not do it this time.  I almost felt like I was in the cartoon with an angel and a devil on my shoulder.  As I was standing at the edge of the mud pit, watching all these people spread mud all over the elephants and also the other humans, I kept thinking - just say yes, get in that mud pit and have fun.  Then I'd think but how much of that is mud and how much of that is elephant dung.  Over and over!  I'd get closer and closer to getting in and the thought of that being elephant dung they were flinging around just was too much.  And I did not get in and give the elephants a mud (dung) bath!  

If you look closely, you will see me walking in the direction opposite the mud/dung slinging!

Since most everyone was covered in mud, we then walked back to the waterfall and swam, washed off, and hung out in that beautiful area for a while. Once that was over, we walked back to where we started the day, rinsed off in the shower area, and had some more time to hang out with the elephants and take pics/selfies with them.  Anna and I kept waiting for them to hit us up for donations, explaining how expensive it is to run this, etc.  But they never did.  It was such an amazing day.  You could tell these elephants that are there because they've been rescued from horrible situations are loved and cared for.  There were absolutely zero chains around their feet or the metal hooks that are used to get them to obey.  The animals were able to roam around and come right up to us.  If the trainer did want them to do something different, it was communicated through commands.  When they started 3 years ago, they only had 3 elephants and one camp.  Now there are close to 90 elephants they've rescued and 8 different camps.  People also have the opportunity to spend 1 to 2 nights there or spend a week volunteering.  This has definitely been the coolest experience I've had while in Thailand.  

Say What? Part II

Just some more funny stuff the students have said or done recently.

Teacher are you FBing your boyfriend?

Why do you think I have a boyfriend?

Teacher you beautiful so you have a boyfriend

Teacher - baby? as she points to my belly

Last time I wear that dress...

I have one boy that I am 99% sure hates me. He also thinks he's way too cool. The lesson was on laughter and one of the questions was do you like to laugh. While all the other kids were answering Yes! he was sitting there stone faced. I went over and said you don't like to laugh do you? he just kind of stared at me. I kept pushing and saying I can tell you don't like to laugh. all the sudden he lets out the biggest most obnoxious fake laugh I've ever heard. I can't even help it and start cracking up and the rest of the class does too. And he went back to his too cool stone face look the rest of class!

One boy dropped the F bomb two days in a row. I knew he was just pushing the boundaries. The first day I just addressed it right when it happened and said you will not use that word in my class again. The second day I stopped and said we will talk after class. He's autistic and has had freak outs in other classes before. After class I was trying to  get him to walk outside w me and he was just ignoring. The kids were saying be careful teacher he's gonna freak out. I backed off and one of the other boys started talking to him calmly in Thai. Finally the cusser said I will not say that bad word in your class anymore. It was wrong of me. 

I had them again the next day, and was hoping he would be true to his word. And he was! But I had to tell the boy next to him to stop talking and do his work. And without missing a beat, head down still working on his assignment, the cusser said "werk werk werk" in a perfect Rhianna voice. I had to turn around and not let him see me laughing so hard!! 

The question was write a paragraph.  During the test, I could see the student using his ruler, but could not figure what he would be using it for.  He was graphing his reasons why he wouldn't be a farmer.  Graph...paragraph.  same same.  And his reasons are very valid!

The last answer...He's really not wrong.

Every morning we have a morning assembly.  It starts off with the national anthem and right after the national anthem is a Buddhist prayer. A group of boys were being rowdy during the anthem. Right as the prayer was starting one of the Thai teacher went up to the group of boys and starting hitting them on the head...really living by that Buddhist philosophy there.

My mom sent over Jolly Ranchers in the last care package.  I went and separated out the watermelon and apple because they are the best flavors.  I took the cherry, grape and blueberry to school.  I only had two of my classes and decided to let them try them.  Both classes asked where I got them at.  I told them that my mom sent them over from America.  They were going crazy about having candy from America.  One girl even said I'm saving this wrapper.  Note to anyone coming to Thailand to teach...bring Jolly Ranchers and you'll be golden.

A few of the M1 girls have been asking a ton of questions about prom and homecoming dances.  They don't have anything like that here.  After a few different days of questions, I finally pulled up some prom and homecoming pics I had on Facebook to show them.  Their comments were making me laugh!  

Being fat in Thailand

Being fat is never easy.  For me, the desire to be skinny is always there.  The negative self talk, the shame I feel when eating in public, loving to shop but only being able to shop at a few stores - they are all emotions I deal with frequently.  I try and trick myself into thinking I don't care what others think or that I have (or had before I basically donated all my clothes before moving) a great wardrobe even though I'm limited to where I can buy clothes.  But my weight is something I'm very self conscious about and no amount of tricking myself into thinking otherwise will work.

And being fat in Thailand is even harder than I ever imagined.  I knew before coming over here that comments would more than likely be made to me about my weight.  Thais are generally smaller built people.  And while they tend to be extremely passive aggressive they hold nothing back on commenting on other people's weight.  And what's sad is that the majority of the comments do not come from students, but adults.

There was one instance at school, we were playing a game of categories and they suggested the category of "facts they know about Teacher BA." One girl yelled out very loudly "Teacher BA is fat!" A few other things had happened that day and that last comment was just too much.  I just said "that is not nice to say about people," and moved on.  I thought I did a good job about not showing the hurt on my face or with my body language, but after class another girl followed me outside and asked if I was okay.  I told her I was fine.  She obviously did not believe me, because on Monday, the girl that called me fat came up to me before school and said "Teacher, I am very sorry for that I said on Friday.  It was not nice.  Will you forgive me?" and wai-ed me.

I've lost count of the amount of times Thai women have come up to me and touched and rubbed my stomach (my Baylor classmates know how much I appreciate being touched in general), pointed to my stomach and asked "baby?", comments made about what I'm eating (even though it's the exact same thing they are eating) or just flat out said "you fat." Once a Thai teacher that I'd never seen before walked into our office.  He pointed to one of the female Thai teachers and said "thin" and held up his pinkie finger to indicate how thin she is.  Then he pointed at me and said "farang, fat" and laughed and walked out of the office.

Today something happened that showed the true depth of just how rude adults can be about weight here.  (A bit of backstory: Two of the desks in the office keep moving slightly and right before this happened, someone had moved the desks back in alignment).  Anyone that really knows me won't be too surprised to learn that I fell out of my chair.  I have a roller chair and had pushed back from my desk and was leaning forward to get something out of my bag and the chair slipped out behind me.  I've thought a few times in the past that one day I am probably going to fall out of this chair, i just hope when it does happen, no one is around.  Of course, today everyone was in the office. One of the Mama's came over and asked if I was okay and picked the chair up. While that was happening, the male Thai teacher said there is the earthquakes that have been moving the desks.  And then went on to say that the person who's been sitting in the chair was the reason it was broken.  He had a few more comments and was laughing like he was a real comedian.  He finally stopped when I told him to just shut up in a sarcastic tone. I really hate the words shut up, but because of the tone I used, I really don't think he caught on to how hurtful his words truly were.

I'm amazed how quickly people are to say - Oh, they don't mean any harm by it.  It's just the way people are in Thailand.  And I can respect a lot about the different cultures.  And have even laughed at a few of the comments people have made, because I can tell they are truly not coming from a hurtful place.  But other times, I have a hard time believing they don't know what they are saying is mean and hurtful. And they are using the cultural differences as a shield to protect them.  Coming to Thailand has made me grow some thicker skin and laugh at things that I would have really let hurt me in the past.  But sometimes, that skin can only be so thick and deep down (under all these layers of fat...) the words do hurt.