totally on my own for the first time since leaving Austin. as much as I crave alone time, I am a wreck being alone! I'm actually crying. I'm sure the taxi driver is wondering what the hell is wrong with me. this is what I signed up for and I'm scared as hell. I know it'll be fine once I get on the bus and to my apartment. this is what I signed up for and what I want to be doing. where are all these emotions coming from! It wasn't this scary to get on the plane and fly to the other side of the world. From everything I've read and heard Isan has the kindest people. I know I'll find a Thai family and be loved and taken care of. And it's not like I'll be cut off from contact with everyone. Nothing is going to change. I can't stop the tears though.
The bus station was not near as daunting as I had imagined. I walked in and a sweet man asked where I was going and got me to the right counter. The hardest part was lugging my heavy heavy suitcase down a flight of stairs to the actual bus! Too bad that sweet man wasn't around then!
I am relieved to be leaving Bangkok. I've only spent a few days at a time in the city, but it makes me very anxious. All the smells and sounds and people. When I told my mom that I was going to be in a smaller town, she replied along the lines of good maybe that's where your soul needs to go to rest right now. I thought that was a little silly and might have even rolled my eyes. But my mom is actually a very wise lady. This year in rural Thailand is right where I need to be.
Made it to my new apartment. I figured it would be a small studio type place. I wasn't wrong. What I wasn't expecting was the toilet situation. I was told I'd have a western toilet. But I guess a western toilet you actually flush was too much to expect! There is a big trash can full of water in my bathroom/shower (it's all one small combined space) with a bucket in it. I'm 99% sure I use that bucket and water to manually flush my toilet...
When I got off the bus, a man came running over from his songtaew and asked where I was going. I told him Green View Apartments and he said 100 baht. that was fine with me. he helped w my luggage across the street and into the songtaew. another man came up to the songtaew and just kept staring at me. he was saying something and just smiling. looking back he might have been telling me I was getting ripped off to pay 100 baht! but I had no idea how far I was going. I am wondering if he'd ever seen a westerner in his town before.
There is a cute coffee shop right behind my apartment. I walked over there hoping for some food, but they only had coffee. The mocha was good and they seemed to have decent wifi. I knew there was a Big C Supermarket near so I went to walk to it. I saw two men sitting in the shade so I walked up and said Big C? The younger one said something to the older one and they started pointing in all directions. Finally the older man pointed back to the coffee shop - basically telling me to go back and ask them!! I finally found Big C and got a few essentials needed (my apartment is furnished). There was not another Westener in the store. Some of the people smiled at me, a few stared and most just ignored me. I did see what looks to be nicer, newer apartments that I think I will go check out tomorrow.
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