Being fat in Thailand

Being fat is never easy.  For me, the desire to be skinny is always there.  The negative self talk, the shame I feel when eating in public, loving to shop but only being able to shop at a few stores - they are all emotions I deal with frequently.  I try and trick myself into thinking I don't care what others think or that I have (or had before I basically donated all my clothes before moving) a great wardrobe even though I'm limited to where I can buy clothes.  But my weight is something I'm very self conscious about and no amount of tricking myself into thinking otherwise will work.

And being fat in Thailand is even harder than I ever imagined.  I knew before coming over here that comments would more than likely be made to me about my weight.  Thais are generally smaller built people.  And while they tend to be extremely passive aggressive they hold nothing back on commenting on other people's weight.  And what's sad is that the majority of the comments do not come from students, but adults.

There was one instance at school, we were playing a game of categories and they suggested the category of "facts they know about Teacher BA." One girl yelled out very loudly "Teacher BA is fat!" A few other things had happened that day and that last comment was just too much.  I just said "that is not nice to say about people," and moved on.  I thought I did a good job about not showing the hurt on my face or with my body language, but after class another girl followed me outside and asked if I was okay.  I told her I was fine.  She obviously did not believe me, because on Monday, the girl that called me fat came up to me before school and said "Teacher, I am very sorry for that I said on Friday.  It was not nice.  Will you forgive me?" and wai-ed me.

I've lost count of the amount of times Thai women have come up to me and touched and rubbed my stomach (my Baylor classmates know how much I appreciate being touched in general), pointed to my stomach and asked "baby?", comments made about what I'm eating (even though it's the exact same thing they are eating) or just flat out said "you fat." Once a Thai teacher that I'd never seen before walked into our office.  He pointed to one of the female Thai teachers and said "thin" and held up his pinkie finger to indicate how thin she is.  Then he pointed at me and said "farang, fat" and laughed and walked out of the office.

Today something happened that showed the true depth of just how rude adults can be about weight here.  (A bit of backstory: Two of the desks in the office keep moving slightly and right before this happened, someone had moved the desks back in alignment).  Anyone that really knows me won't be too surprised to learn that I fell out of my chair.  I have a roller chair and had pushed back from my desk and was leaning forward to get something out of my bag and the chair slipped out behind me.  I've thought a few times in the past that one day I am probably going to fall out of this chair, i just hope when it does happen, no one is around.  Of course, today everyone was in the office. One of the Mama's came over and asked if I was okay and picked the chair up. While that was happening, the male Thai teacher said there is the earthquakes that have been moving the desks.  And then went on to say that the person who's been sitting in the chair was the reason it was broken.  He had a few more comments and was laughing like he was a real comedian.  He finally stopped when I told him to just shut up in a sarcastic tone. I really hate the words shut up, but because of the tone I used, I really don't think he caught on to how hurtful his words truly were.

I'm amazed how quickly people are to say - Oh, they don't mean any harm by it.  It's just the way people are in Thailand.  And I can respect a lot about the different cultures.  And have even laughed at a few of the comments people have made, because I can tell they are truly not coming from a hurtful place.  But other times, I have a hard time believing they don't know what they are saying is mean and hurtful. And they are using the cultural differences as a shield to protect them.  Coming to Thailand has made me grow some thicker skin and laugh at things that I would have really let hurt me in the past.  But sometimes, that skin can only be so thick and deep down (under all these layers of fat...) the words do hurt.

Collecting those passport stamps

I finally had an uneventful travel experience in Thailand!  I had to cross the border to renew my 90 day visa stamp while I'm waiting on my work permit.  Savannakhet, Laos is about two hours from where I am living.  In talking to people and doing some research there is not a lot to do on the Laos side of the border.  But Mukdahan, on the Thailand side had some cool things to check out.  Since my bed is basically like sleeping on a board and I really didn't have much going on this weekend at home, I booked at a room in Mukdahan.  It was only $27USD.  Can't really beat that.

I left my place at 6 am, got to the bus station at 6:15 and got on the minibus that left at 6:30.  No matter what mode of transportation I use in Thailand, I always feel carsick.  I think it's a combo of the constant speeding up and slowing down driving and the sides of the buses being all window and the landscape just whizzing by.  We made it to Mukdahan by 8:30 and before I could even step out of the van, I was being accosted by  tuk tuk drivers - Farang to the border. 200 baht.

I bought a bus ticket for 50 baht that would take me across the Friendship II bridge into Laos.  First I had to go through immigration to depart.  The first line had a sign that said Thai.  The second line was not very long and said passport control.  Line 3 was longer and said the same thing.  So I got into the second line.  When I got to the front the lady told me to go through Line 1 next time.  I tried to ask why since I'm not Thai, but she just kept saying line 1 next time.  I made it through that and the bus showed up shortly after that.

The MeKong River separating Thailand from Laos

A funny mistranslated sign!

Once on the Laos side I had to get a Visa on Arrival.  But the window was closed.  I asked around and was told one moment.  One guy did give me the paperwork to fill out.  When I handed it back to him, he said that the visa officer was on his way in.  I was told that a Laos visa was 1,500 baht and that I could get the passport sized picture taken there.  The visa officer finally showed up and he asked for my passport sized picture.   When I told him I was told to get it there, he just made a copy of my passport and cut that picture out.  I handed him the 1,500 baht and he said you pay 100 more.  I only had 60 baht and 1,000 notes on me. I said why? He said something like overtime.  Pretty sure he was pissy he had to come in on Saturday (even though immigration is open on Saturday...) and was making me pay for it.  I told him only 60.  He took it.

The paperwork I had to fill out to get into Laos

I didn't actually need to go into the town.  I could have just turned around and walked right back through and gotten my new 90 day stamp.  But I was hungry, and figured I should go ahead and do something while I was in the country.  I really didn't have any place I needed to go, and the cab drivers were confused so I just pulled up google and pointed to the first cafe I saw on a travel site I'd been using.

We got into the cab and I realized they drive on the same side of the road we do.  Which was both confusing and comforting at the same time!  The driver drove me through town and pointed out a cafe that he said was good.  We get to the cafe I had pointed to and it was closed.  It was only 10:30 am.  He said he'd take me back to the other cafe.  It was really cute.  It was London themed.  I ordered cheesy garlic bread and a watermelon smoothie.  There was a note that said they only give change in Laos kip.  When they brought my bill the total was in kip, baht and USD.  I had a $20 bill in my purse that had writing on it, so no one would exchange it.  The total was 12.25.  I got rid of that $20 bill and got kip back.  I walked around the water front a bit and got a tuk tuk back to the border. He took the kip that I had back as change...I probably way over payed for that tuk tuk ride, but I don't plan on being back in Laos anytime soon!

Driving on the correct side of the road!!

Sign at the cafe where I ate

While in line to leave Laos, a man asked if I had a pen he could borrow.  The only pen I had on me was my absolute favorite pen.  It writes so smooth and I just love it.  I was a little reluctant to hand it over, but went ahead.  There were still about 10 people in front of me, so I figured he'd be done before I got through.  Except he didn't. I couldn't decide if I should wait on him to get done or just go ahead.  I realized it was just a pen and I could get another easily.  But I was also hoping he would make it through the line and onto the same bus as me and give it back to me.

And he did!  He was the last one on the bus and it was standing room only, but he came over to where I was sitting and handed it back and thanked me.  I got back to the Thailand side and waited in line there.  For some reason, I also get so nervous in immigration lines.  I've never had an issue, but I always worry they are going tell me I can't go through or something and I'll be stuck in no man's land.  The two ladies kept looking at me and then at my passport and talking in Thai.  I was starting to get nervous.  Finally, they stamp it and hand it back to me with a smile.  I checked to make sure they'd given me a 90 day stamp (when I got to Thailand the first time, immigration did not give me the right stamp and it was fixed, but a small hassle). All was good!  I saw my pen friend over at some benches and went over and asked him if I could get a tuk tuk there.  He asked where I was going and I told him the name of my hotel.  And he said my friend and I will take you.

And I did something I would never do in America.  I got into a car with two strangers and had total confidence that they would take me to my hotel.  I was reading an article earlier in the week about traveling alone as a female, and it mentioned that your ability to read people becomes better when you're traveling alone.  I've always felt like I've been able to read people and honestly, I usually just assume negative about a person.  But since being over here and being in situations where I have to total rely on strangers that don't speak the same language, I'm learning that the majority of the time, people want to help the farang!

We exchanged Line (the texting app that everyone uses here) usernames and made tentative plans to go out to dinner that night.  They worked for a Thailand beer company and were planning on going out to a few places I was also wanting to check out.  After they dropped me off, I took a nap.  Then I got up and walked down to the huge market, and walked around there.  And it was hot.  I'm not sure if the sun was hotter than where I live or if I'm just not used to being out in it in the afternoon or what. But I was getting a headache and dizzy.  I went to 7/11 to try and find some Gatorade and got some Advil and took a tuk tuk home.  I slept some more and woke up starving, but still with a headache.

My hotel room and the comfy bed!

Just a small example of all the things you can purchase at the market

I'd read a few reviews about a restaurant that had the best hamburgers.  Even a few Americans said they were the best hamburgers they've ever had.  I got a tuk tuk there and if I had been feeling better I think it could have been an awesome time.  The hamburger was ok and there was a band setting up. But I just wanted to get back before I started feeling sick again.  Damn sun! I also missed a few messages from my new friend, which I felt bad about.  They were actually at the pool at the hotel right next door to me.  I could hear the DJ from my room and it sounded like it was a fun time.

I woke up on Sunday and got around and got a taxi to the bus station.  I got there at 9 and the mini bus left at 9:30.  And I was back home by 11:15.  While I didn't get to do as much I originally wanted, I did get a night away in a comfy bed for cheap.  So, really it was still a win.  And it was a smooth trip.  Which I consider the biggest win based on the last few times I've had to travel!!!

Maybe this trip went so smoothly because the van had these monks to look over us, literally!

Wai Khru

Today was a special day at school.  It was Wai Khru.  Which is basically teacher appreciation day.  It was pretty neat to be able to partake in the ceremonies.

In the morning there was the opportunity to pay merit to monks.  I was not aware that monks are only able to eat what is given to them.  There was a line and we went through and gave them all offerings - which was what we would want in our next life.  Funny how much candy and junk food these monks will be eating!  

The 9 monks were up on stage saying their chants and prayers.  They had chairs set up facing the stage for teachers to sit in.  While I had no idea what was being said, there is something calming and relaxing with the cadence and repetition of their chanting.

In Thailand the middle school/high school age group is called Mathayom.  I teach M1 - M3.  Which would be 7th, 8th and 9th graders in the states.  The students are broken up into classes within their grade. For M1 there are 14 classes.  I teach the M 1/14 students.

The Wai Khru ceremony was held in the hall.  The day started with M1 and went thru to M6.  I am essentially the class sponsor for M1 (and they hold an extra special place in my heart) so I decided to attend their time slot.  In true Thai fashion, it didn't start at 8, but more like 8:30.  Another English teacher and I attended together.  She is also a first year teacher, so we had no idea what was going on!  We joked that we could be following these teachers off a cliff and we'd have no idea!

They told us we would be part of the ceremony and ushered us to the back of the hall.  My students were back there and got so excited when they saw I was attending their ceremony!  While we were back there waiting for the ceremony to start, I witnessed more selfies being taken than I ever have in my life...by the teachers.  I'm sure I have appeared more on Facebook than I will ever know!

Once no more selfies could be taken and the director was ready to start, we walked into the hall.  All the students were standing and in a deep wai (a bow - which is a sign of respect) and had formed an aisle for us to walk down.  We walked up on the stage and were seated.  The director walked over to the Buddha statue and paid respects to the Buddha.


There was a lot of singing and talking in Thai.  Then each class had two representatives that walked their phan (or what I could call a topiary) to the stage and presented it to the teachers.  They got on their knees and handed over than then bowed and the teachers in the front said something to them (I both couldn't hear and wouldn't have been able to understand).

This class did a boy and a girl and hands in the wait position.  Creative!

The two representatives from my class 

After the presentation of the phan, the director went down and handed out awards to two students from each class.  What I noticed that after the awards were given and the students were back seated, they held their awards on display basically.  I am pretty sure in the states, we would have just held on to the award any which way or probably even laid it down on the ground!

So boy 2nd to the end wasn't in perfect form!

The director spoke and gave the awards out for the best phan.  That was fun to watch their reactions and their class was announced the winner.  After that, a group of students came up and sang a song. Then the ceremony was over.  Well, there was more picture taking of the teachers as a group.  Then the ceremony was over.

It was special to be a part of, to see the excitement and pride the students took in making their phans, and the respect they showed the teachers.  I will say, I feel for the director of our school...sitting through a full day of the same ceremony 6 times would get a little ummmm boring possibly!

A Day In the Life

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

5:15 am - the first alarm goes off.  I hit snooze.  9 minutes later it goes off again.  I turn it completely off.

5:30 am - the second alarm goes off.  I hit snooze again, but stay on my phone and catch up on messages I received while sleeping, check my email and scroll through Facebook.  I hit snooze two more times on my phone before finally turning it off.

6:00 am - decide it's finally time to get up and start getting ready.  Every morning when I'm blow drying my hair is the time that I miss April, my hair stylist in Austin, the most.  It's rainy season in Thailand now and the humidity is not my friend!  My hair is growing thicker rather than longer.

6:45 am - leave my apartment and head to school.  It's about a half mile walk.  It's a fairly peaceful and easy walk to school.  I'm discussing a situation that happened on Monday in class with one of the other foreign teachers.  As we are talking, I decide I need to change my last lesson plan for the day.

7:00 am - arrive at school.  I start doing some research on how to change my last lesson plan.  Every other week I have what is called guidance.  I was told - it's a class that is not graded and you can do whatever you want.  After the conversation I had with the other teacher this morning, I am realizing that Thai students aren't given the opportunity for critical thinking.  They are told what to do, what to write, and what is expected of them.  Yesterday, I asked them to work in pairs and turn in just one piece of paper for their pair.  Their minds were blown.  They didn't understand and were all in a fluster worrying about how they could both get a grade for just one piece of paper being turned in.   My mind was also blown.  I decided that the guidance class will be an opportunity for them to learn to think for themselves.

7:15 - breakfast.  The canteen at school is actually really good!  There are vendors all along the perimeter  of the two story structure.  And everything is 20 baht. It's good and cheap. Because I am a creature of habit, I tend to eat the same place for breakfast.  It's a rice like porridge with seasoned pork, onion, tofu, and a soft boiled egg.  I was a little leery to try it at first, but now I really like it!

7:30 - back in the office, getting some pages printed for an afternoon class and chatting with the other foreign teachers in the office.  There are 11 foreign teachers in total that teach at my school.  6 of us teach in EP program (these students are paying to be in classes taught in English - so their math, science, English, etc classes are taught by foreign teachers.  We see these students multi times a week, the classes sizes are on average 25, and we have a/c rooms!  The other 6 teachers are in another office and they teach ECD. They have larger class sizes, see the kids just once a week and are teaching them English words, listening and speaking skills.

8:00 - Get ready to head out to the morning assembly.  I am noticing that kids are still running around and it doesn't look like anyone is in the area where the assembly takes place.  When we ask what's going, one of the Thai teacher told us that they aren't doing assembly on Tuesdays anymore.  Thais don't read enough and so they are using the 20 mins for the students to sit in their rooms and read.  I use this extra time to go over the lesson plan on simple present tense that I'm teaching first.

8:20 - First class of the day is M2 (8th graders).  I start off the class with passing out the homework from yesterday.  Yesterday in class, we played a game and they thought we should have candy as the reward.  I don't plan on rewarding them with candy often, but they were actually really good, fully participated in the game, and all had fun so I brought in some chocolate for each of them.  They were all very appreciative of it.  We started going over simple present rules.  They were all getting it and giving me good examples.  It's exciting to me when they are getting what I'm teaching them and are participating and enjoying the lesson.  I was surprised how quickly it was 9:30 and time to head to my next class of the day.

9:30 - For the next 50 mins I'm teaching M3 (9th graders).  I had enough of the candy left over and since I didn't have time to go back to my desk, I figured I would go ahead and give this class candy too.  We played a similar game as M2 the day before and they also had fun and all participated.  Right away I walk in and they are all begging for the candy.  Someone says is that for the winners of the game yesterday.  I tell them that I can't remember who all won and instantly all 28 hands go up.  I tell them that in my eyes all of them are winners so they all get a piece of candy.  I had one bag to the girls in the front row and instantly they are taking two pieces.  So unlike the other class.

It's amazing how they all know when the camera is out!

The lesson for this class is on first conditional.  I'm getting a lot of blank stares and one or two are the only ones giving me examples.  This is going to be a long 50 mins for me if we go on at this pace.  And I can tell most of them are not paying attention.  Time to switch it up and make this into a game.  I have to make sure 5 or 6 specific students are at the beginning of the line or they will not participate.  This class is over, but I am not convinced they understand.  That means I'll be going over this again tomorrow with them.  And finding a way to keep their attention with it.

10:20 - back in the office.  The class I have for last period today is M3 and made me realize even more how I need to work on their critical thinking skills.  Thanks to Pinterest I find a few different activities I can use for that class.

11:15 - lunch.  Back to the canteen before the rush of students get there at noon!  We had a new Math teacher start on Monday, and her and I are the only two in the office, so we go eat together.  And I head to my lunch man...the man with rice and seasoned pork and a hard boiled egg.  I add a few sliced cucumbers to it and am set!

Smart dog - hanging out under the lunch table

Noon - back to the office.  I'm in charge of a skit for a competition in August. The kids from M2 came in to work on it.  It's their own version of Cinderella.  Maybe a few of the next Broadway stars in the making.

1:00 - I have M1 for English.  We are working on greetings.  I decide to mix it up a little bit and have them teach me some Thai phrases they think I need to know.  One of the boys, who is usually pretty quiet in class, was really enjoying being "in charge." He kept making me repeat the words until he was sure I was saying it correct.  I cannot roll my R's and a few words needed to have the R rolled.  That caused a lot of laughter!

1:40 - Back to the office to prepare for a BINGO game I'm playing in first period tomorrow.  Also realize I need to walk to the store tonight to get a few items for the game.

2:40 - Back to M1.  This period is English club.  It's meant to be a time for me to work with the ones doing the skit in August.  But those kids are M2 and I also have 25 other kids to watch.  The kids doing the skit needed to work on the computer, so I sent them to the office and decided to play the game I had planned for tomorrow with them.

I got to the room a few minutes early, and these girls were working on a dance routine to a Thai rap song.  One of these girls was the one that asked me how to spell Wiz Kalifha...

3:30 - Guidance with M3.  This is the class that I decided to start teaching them critical thinking.  We also played I went to the market and I bought...where one person starts with the letter A and everyone has to repeat that and add a new item with the next letter of the alphabet.  It went over surprisingly better than I thought.

4:30 - walk home.  Across the street from the school is a large open field.  After school it's set up with a ton of food vendors.  It reminds me a bit of Food Truck Thursdays in Austin.  It's chaotic!

4:45 - I get home and lay down for a second.  I'm debating if I want to walk to the store or not.  I go back and forth for a while.

5:30 - walk to the store.  It's about a half mile walk.  I know I will get over 10,000 steps in today!  The store had a KFC in it.  That's what's for dinner tonight!!  I only see one student on my trip.

6:30 - I get home and take a shower and I really want to just go to bed, but I remember that I need to finish my test for my M1 students tomorrow.

8:30 - I finish the test and crash.  I will have to go back over the test tomorrow to make sure it makes sense!!  I might have fallen asleep a few times while typing it.

10:15 - Wake back up because there might be a monsoon happening outside my apartment.  I really hope it lets up soon.  And that it's not raining like this in the morning.  It will not be fun to walk to school in this!!

Say What?

Kids.  They are funny!  Over the last two weeks I've laughed at some of the things these kids have said.

~During my introductory lesson, I asked what is their favorite music? One of my younger students asked how to spell Wiz Kalifha (a current rapper that I wouldn't think most 12 year olds should be listening to).  I almost told her that he was trash and she should check out Biggie Smalls if she wanted to know about real rap.

~Teacher, this is you. As she shows me a picture she took as I was walking to gate duty and she was on the top floor of one of the buildings.  Child, do I also need to teach you stalking 101.  If you're going to take stalkerish photos you don't show them to the people you're stalking.

~Teacher, I saw you walking to school this morning.  You walk to school every day with Teacher David and Teacher Ailen.  Same child as above.  Hopefully next week she doesn't tell me Teacher, I saw you sleeping last night.

~ One of the students would not stop talking.  I finally moved him to a desk away from everyone right next to the teacher's desk.  After class I was talking to him about his behavior.  I had them again that day and it was for a less structured, fun class.  I said I have two fun games planned.  But if you behave like you did in this class, you won't get to play them.  Are you going to be good in my next class.  He thinks long and hard and shakes his head no and says no.  Ummmm, thanks for being honest!  Pretty sure he just didn't understand me, because he's been a dream since our talk.

~ Teacher, take a selfie with me.  I will add it to Facebook.  I hear that one often.

~ Last Friday as I was telling my M1s (7th graders) bye for the weekend, one of the girls came up to me and poked my belly and make a bloop sound like she was poking the Pillsbury Doughboy.  I'm pretty sure the shocked WTF look I had on my face was enough to make her realize that was not ok!!

~ The same girl that asked me how to spell Wiz Kalifha was at my desk and saw my Kate Spade computer case.  She commented that she loves Kate Spade.  And at that moment it became crystal clear why she was one of my favorites!

~ A few of the girls were singing Adele when I walked into the classroom.  I told them that I had tickets to see her in concert for my birthday, but it was in November so I had to give them to a friend.  When they asked why I told them because I would be here teaching them.  They decided that they will give me their own Adele concert then.  I can't wait!

~ And my favorite...one girl every time before class starts she says Teacher, I am beautiful.  Yes, darling you are.  Keep that confidence up forever.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!